The Island of Logic

Barack Obama’s authenticated and verified Birth Certificate released first here on IOL has caused quite a storm on several blogs. That’s usually what happens to pioneers, but we here at the IOL will stand strong. One of the Blog links is below.

http://libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=245179

• If I attach a electric cord to a duck, would that make it a power duck? Well, its probably more complicated then that.
• I wonder if I could fit into this cup? Aww well, my shoulders probably wouldn’t make it.
• Do I have to walk sideways on a side walk? Doesn’t that defy the laws of gravity??
• I think I just snorted milk through my nose. Yes, I said milk!!
• Does Affirmative Action apply to all Negro Colleges?
• Are Penguins a minority?
• How did that squirrel get onto that bird feeder? GET OFF, YOU STUPID SQUIRREL!!!
• Will Michael Moore eat all the food on the planet? I hope he leaves at least one slice of pizza.
• Let’s say, “NO! TO GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACY!!!” Just hand your money directly to the next Obama voter that you see. Let’s cut the government out as the middle man.
• Why stop at Spreading the Wealth? I say, “let’s start Spreading the Nukes”. The nuclear weapons of the world should be equally distributed to all nations of the world based on population density.
• Wow!! Is that really his head or just a giant shoulder zit?
• If I got implants, would I look like Britney Spears?
• I just got off the phone with my mortgage company. Not sure why they hung up on me? All I did was ask that all my subsequent mortgage payments be sent to the wealthy.

This just in from the Obama Campaign. After months of desperate searching they have finally found Obama’s Birth Certificate. My secret source just came through again, and emailed me a scanned copy. They found it in the attic of his grandmother’s house stuck in a copy of Das Kapital. This should finally put to rest this ridiculous hysteria once and for all that Obama is not a natural born citizen and not qualified to be president.

I have an inside source in the Obama campaign that has leaked to me Obama’s 25-point agenda for his first term. I personally think that he is a little aggressive to think he can get this all done in only four years, but then again he is the Chosen One. I will revisit this list in four years to see if he has really accomplished all of this.

1. Raise Federal Income Tax rates on all Americans making more that $150,000 per year.
2. Roll the Constitution into as many smokes as possible.
3. Reinstitute the Fairness Doctrine.
4. Switch the White House floor mats with the Founding Father’s portraits.
5. Socialize Health Care.
6. Cut the military by 25%.
7. Create a Civilian Security “Brown Shirts” Force.
8. Ban all guns, knives, and sharp pencils.
9. Replace the Jefferson Memorial with a large bust of Karl Marx.
10. Eliminate mortgage payment requirements for Obama Voters.
11. Raise the Capital Gains Tax.
12. Eliminate Global Warming by the wielding his Almighty Power.
13. Implement Cap and Trade System.
14. Eliminate dependance on foreign oil by eliminating coal and nuclear plants, banning domestic oil production and inflating tires.
15. Raise electrical costs.
16. Drink tea and play musical chairs with Ahmadinejad.
17. Apologize to the world for the years of the Evil George W. Bush.
18. Redistribute the wealth.
19. Trade US National Security for jelly doughnut.
20. Pass law requiring all American Citizens to learn French, German and Pig Latin.
21. Give Driver Licenses to illegal aliens.
22. Appoint Judges that will favor the poor over the rich (BTW, his own words).
23. Replace the military M4 and M16 rifles with slingshots.
24. Pull out of Iraq so fast that the soldiers arrive home naked and with whiplash.
25. Learn Kum Ba Yah in all foreign languages.

George W. Bush, the single most destructive man to the Republican Party in modern history. I place the Obama win and the Democrat majority expansion of the House and Senate squarely on the shoulders of George W. Bush. George Bush had a historical opportunity to place the United States on a Conservative path with a Republican majority in both the House and the Senate. Yet he spent money like a drunken sailor, that’s being disrespectful to drunken sailors, and grew the size of government at a rate that makes Michael Moore’s waist line expansion look like anorexic high school cheerleader. Bush is at best 40% conservative, but since he is a Republican and he keeps claiming that he is a Conservative the American people think that the Bush policies are Conservative. The American people, that includes me, are frankly tired of Bush, and we want change, however I’m not sure that the Americans that voted for Obama realize exactly what type of change they have asked for. They wanted change so they elect someone that is a Marxist, who is definitely going to bring them change. I voted for McCain, even though I don’t believe he was a Conservative, but at least he isn’t a Marxist. I was hoping that Conservatives would be able to finally get the GOP turned around despite a McCain Presidency. If America can survive the next four years then maybe Barack Obama is the best thing that can happen to finally get the Republicans back to Conservative, Constitutional policies. We as Conservatives are tired of always having to cast our votes for the lesser of two weavils (from the movie Master and Commander). The question is, can America can survive the next four years? If Barack Obama is only Jimmy Carter 2.0 and I pray that he is, then maybe he can usher in the new Ronald Reagan.