The Island of Logic

We were gone for a while (Server Crash), but we are back and stronger than ever. The Conservative Underground undoubtedly has suffered but we are back and we’re going to continue the fight. Cheers

This is Jason M’s brother Jeremy. I am writing this post because Jason is currently unavailable for posting. Jason has a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I can see him right now curled in a fetal position in the corner of his bedroom. I came over to his house early this morning because he hasn’t been answering his phone. He has been scrawling all over the walls of his house with a permanent marker. I am writing this in order to warn you that these occasional bouts of disillusion do happen and you need to be aware because it does come through in some of his writings. His bipolar personality is amazingly enough, an ultra left-wing illogical hippie. It doesn’t appear that he has bathed or eaten anything but grass in the last 5 days. Here are some of the things that he has written on his walls and is mumbling to himself.

• The Dick Cheney Assassination Squad is after me.
• Sara Palin has a baby seal blender she uses for protein shakes.
• Sara Palin’s playing a trick on us, she want to leave public office so she has more time to shoot hippies and puppies from her helicopter.
• Sara Palin wears hippie skin boots.
• Dick Cheney still runs the world.
• Aliens seeded the earth with human life a million years ago.
• Ahhh!!! Dick Cheney is an alien!
• Bush barbecues puppies on his ranch in Crawford.
• I’m not sure if Obama can really walk on water. (Looks like there may be hope)
• Obama can turn water into wine. (Ok, never mind)
• Bush intentionally stepped on a flower once.
• Karl Rove is on the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad but his pitch fork is his weapon of choice. The other members prefer the laser canon.
• Sara Palin is a v……

Ohhh Noo!!! Jason has a knife. He’s coming towards me. Oh, ok never mind, he’s pealing an orange.

Developing……

Below is a email that I wrote to Vern Buchanan after I was unable to reach his office by phone since the line was constantly busy.

Vote “NO!!” on Cap and Trade. If you vote yes on this bill I will do all in my power to get you voted out of office in the next election cycle. I am a registered Republican and have voted for Mr. Buchanan in the past despite some reservations on his true conservative credentials. I am a blogger and an individual that is respected for my political views and I influence many of my friends and family on their votes. I will do everything in my power to get them to vote against Mr. Buchanan if he votes for this bill. The point of this bill is simply to extend the power of the Federal Government, generate new tax revenue, and to destroy the capitalist system that has made this country great. This bill will do nothing to curb “Global Warming”. Global temperatures have actually flatlined over the past 8 years despite a bill like this not being in effect. Carbon Dioxide is not a pollutant, and if Mr. Buchanan thinks so he should stop exhaling. Thank You.

A buddy from work emailed these to me. I will leave these up till Scott Adams makes me take them down.

Wow, it’s been a long time since I have posted anything, so here we go.

• If I attach a electric cord to a duck, would that make it a power duck? Well, its probably more complicated then that.
• I wonder if I could fit into this cup? Aww well, my shoulders probably wouldn’t make it.
• Do I have to walk sideways on a side walk? Doesn’t that defy the laws of gravity??
• I think I just snorted milk through my nose. Yes, I said milk!!
• Does Affirmative Action apply to all Negro Colleges?
• Are Penguins a minority?
• How did that squirrel get onto that bird feeder? GET OFF, YOU STUPID SQUIRREL!!!
• Will Michael Moore eat all the food on the planet? I hope he leaves at least one slice of pizza.
• Let’s say, “NO! TO GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACY!!!” Just hand your money directly to the next Obama voter that you see. Let’s cut the government out as the middle man.
• Why stop at Spreading the Wealth? I say, “let’s start Spreading the Nukes”. The nuclear weapons of the world should be equally distributed to all nations of the world based on population density.
• Wow!! Is that really his head or just a giant shoulder zit?
• If I got implants, would I look like Britney Spears?
• I just got off the phone with my mortgage company. Not sure why they hung up on me? All I did was ask that all my subsequent mortgage payments be sent to the wealthy.

I was sitting in the conference room of a customer when we saw a crazy old coot drive by with what looked like a battery powered Walmart shopping scooter. We were all laughing and taking cell phone pictures through the window. He was right in the lane with the rest of the traffic in downtown Sarasota. He has to be a lib trying to save the world from Global Warming.

• An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife.
• We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
• A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.
• Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.
• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain-and most fools do.
• Lend money to an enemy, and thou will gain him; to a friend and thou will lose him.
• Even peace may be purchased at too high a price.
• Creditors have better memories than debtors.
• God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
• To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.
• Buy what thou hast no need of, and ere long thou shalt sell thy necessaries.
• If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.
• He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
• God helps them that help themselves.
• Learn of the skillful; he that teaches himself, has a fool for his master.
• He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
• They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security.
• The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
• To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.
• We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.