The Island of Logic

We all remember how Dick Cheney was spotted in a dugout canoe paddling frantically around the New Orlean’s levees planting bombs so that unfortunate minorities would be drenched. He was sent by the evil George W. Bush because it is known that George in his National Guard days enjoyed throwing cups of water on minorities. It was something about minorities being afraid of water or something like that. Basically it was just a big Presidential sized practical joke that goes back to both Dick and George’s college days. Well Obama was also spotted wading ashore on the Louisiana coast with snorkeling gear late Tuesday night on April 20th. It is rumored that William Ayers was the one who created the bomb for Obama. It is all just a big Presidential sized practical joke that goes back to the days when Billy and Obama liked blowing things up. Granted Obama wasn’t much help back then at the age of 8 or 9, but that’s why he is rumored to have begged Billy to let him do this one. So thanks to Obama and Billy’s practical joke I’m gonna be diving around tar balls this summer.

I really don’t have evidence of any of this, but I also don’t have evidence there isn’t any evidence either, which is kinda like evidence. Well anywho, try and prove it wrong, but alas you can’t because it’s all true and makes too much sense.

Since the Libs have all their conspiracy theories about Bush and Cheney, (i.e. Bush was behind 9/11, Cheney blew up the levees in New Orleans, Bush was awol from the National Guard, Cheney eats cute puppies alive, etc. etc.)  I have decided to spread the seeds of conspiracy about Obama and his ilk. Hopefully some of these will take root and spread like a pandemic through the blogosphere.

• Obama, Pelosi, and Reid are Cylons secretly plotting the demise of the earth through the hoax of global warming.
• Obama’s economic policies will make 2 + 2 < or = or > 12.6.
• Obama want to replace the military’s standard issue M16 with new high-tech slingshots that shoot marshmallows.
• Obama wants to replace the US currency with the historically tried and proven sticks and stones.
• Obama will ban the sale of beans, to prevent flatulence, which is one of the primary contributors to global warming.
• Obama was secretly behind the failed plot to tickle John McCain during the Presidential debates.
• Obama is a robot controlled by a band of artificially intelligent teleprompters created by the CIA.
• Obama is actually a radical Amish man, he just does a great job disguising it.