The Island of Logic

UN Security Council to Condemn North Korea Rocket Launch Monday

I am writing this post hanging my head a little, and feeling a little ashamed of myself for my past conduct and statements concerning the UN. I need to apologize and post a retraction for a post I made back in August of 2008 calling the UN just a bunch of Useless Nannies (Link to Post). After reading the story above, and contacting the UN myself to get some direct comments, I finally have to admit that they are coming through with some definite action against North Korea and that little pot bellied dictator of theirs, Kim Jong Ill. (BTW, this is very difficult for me to write, considering that being wrong is so rare for me.) With North Korea’s April 5th launch of a multi-stage rocket that flew over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean, the UN is coming forth with some strong action against that little overweight whack job. The Security Council has been working hard over the weekend to come up with a statement condemning the launch. The UN spokesman that I contacted said that the UN was planning on delivering the condemnation in both written and oral format. The UN spokesman stated that the oral condemnation would be delivered using both harsh tones and strong language. He also said that the written condemnation was going to be printed on paper stock that would be the more likely to give the little tyrant a paper cut. He said that strong measures like this are necessary in times like these, and actions like this, by rouge nations would no longer be tolerated. I also contacted Pyongyang to get their reaction to the condemnation and paper cut threat to their fearless leader. The North Korean Minister of Public Relations himself spoke to me and said that they were planning on nuking the condemnation as soon as it arrived in the mail, and that they would not allow it near the Great Leader. I also questioned him about what they would do about the oral delivery of the condemnation and he stated that they were going to nuke that also. When I questioned the feasibility of that action, he started swearing at me in Korean so I just hung up. I called the UN back to get their reaction on the condemnation nuking threat, and they said that they were considering not going through with the condemnation after all, and that they had no further comments.

The United Nations, a good idea at its inception, is the biggest joke that exists in the world today. This latest crisis between Russia and Georgia, is a perfect example of their complete ineffectiveness. In response to the Useless Nannies meeting to come up with a cease fire agreement for the conflict, Georgia stated: “We understand that when one of the permanent members is an aggressor in this conflict, it is very hard to get things done and find a fair assessment of the situation.”  (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121875094135642307.html) Exactly, its pretty tough to be an effective organization when the aggressor has veto power on the Security Council. Ok, so now the Useless Nannies get Russia to agree and sign the Cease Fire agreement, but Russia hasn’t ceased fire nor have they left the captured territory, (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/16/AR2008081601039.html) so what are the Useless Nannies going to do now. Threaten to implement sanctions? (They would never do that, they just threaten it.) Ohhh, won’t that strike fear in the heart of the Ruskies as they shake in their boots. Oh, and guess what? The Useless Nannies are also reprimanding Georgia for “provoking” Russia by taking a police action in their own sovereign territory. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6049872.stm) When the Useless Nannies can’t resolve a conflict by stopping the bully, they have to blame it on someone, so now it is the bully’s target’s fault for provoking the bully. I personally saw the Useless Nannies ineffectiveness in Haiti, where people would be robbed and held at gun point literally right in front of UN troops, but since they were not “authorized” to use force they stood by and “observed”. Crime rates exploded in Haiti durning the time of the Useless Nannies occupation. Iraq laughed and poked fun at all the weapons inspectors and resolutions that the Useless Nannies came up with, and all the Useless Nannies could do was say “Stop”. (Say with a high pitched, gay sounding voice) They finally stopped laughing when another organization of 50 states stepped in and took care of the problem. Who was it that enforced the Useless Nannies resolution that demanded Iraq get out of Kuwait in 1990, once again the US had to provide the teeth to the threat given by the Useless Nannies. We could go on and on, the Useless Nannies failure in Somalia, Rwanda, etc., etc., but we don’t have to, everyone knows, whether they admit it or not, that if something needs to be done in the world the US has to step in and do it. Really when it comes down to it, the primary function of the Useless Nannies is simply to transfer wealth from the United States to the rest of the world. According to the Useless Nannies financial records the United States pays for 22% of the Regular Budget, that is higher than any other nation. That doesn’t include all the other UN budgets that the US also pays the highest percentages. In 2007 the United States “owed” $1.26 billion to the Useless Nannies. What the US pays to the Useless Nannies budget is not part of the roughly 21 billion given by the US government in Foreign Aid annually. Despite the US being the primary funder and enforcer for the Useless Nannies, they are often apposed in resolutions and impugned for not paying enough. Below are some statistics of percentages of times different nations appose the US in the UN, and the amount of Foreign Aid some of them received from the US.

(http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/unvote.asp)

My only remaining question is, “why are we still a part of this ridiculous organization”? Let’s drop out and kick the Useless Nannies out of New York. Then as a bonus, maybe we can get rid of all these foreign dignitaries with Diplomatic Immunity.